I was reading an article about project management tips (http://www.projectmanagementsource.com/2006/08/les…) and one of the bullet points talk about stress:
55. One key element in dealing with stress is taking control. A feeling of helplessness increases stress. So take some action that reflects that you do retain some amount of control over the situation – even if that little control is only over your reaction to the stressor.
While this statement is very true to me, I think it misses another point.
Helplessness causes stress for those who can’t accept it. Sort of like how a student might feel stress after believing they failed a final. However, I think that is a closed-minded way of generalizing this problem. The test is done and there’s nothing more you can do; thus, why stress? I tend to see helplessness as it truly is: something that no longer merits my attention.
Don’t get me wrong: I am very proactive before the point of failure, but once it happens, it’s happened and there’s no point in spending further negative energies thinking about it.
For example, let’s say your company is downsizing. You could be fired tomorrow. Like that fat guy in Office Space, you could get all stressed out and scared. Most smarter people might try to mitigate the risk by proactively working harder or kissing ass. But let’s say you’ve already done all that. Now what? This is where people start stressing out.
I treat scary situations like that as a has-happened situation. There’s nothing worth stressing out over once you’ve done everything you can do. In that situation, I’d continue business as usual. I would figure if I am needed, I won’t be fired either way. And I wouldn’t want to work for a company that keeps people around just because they kiss ass.
As another example, two weekends ago, I flew to Chicago. Somehow, the airport placed my luggage on the wrong flight. I filled in a report and they told me it would be arriving at my hotel within the next 12 hours. Of course, 12 hours later, nothing arrived. I bought some essentials in a local store and pretty much ignored the fact my baggage was mysteriously gone. My co-workers were all perplexed why I wasn’t calling the airline, but my reply was, “If it’s coming, it’s coming. If it’s lost, it’s lost. Calling won’t change that so why stress?” And then another 24 hours later, the bags arrived. Would I have eventually called? Yes, just to make sure they had the right address, but other than that, no.
If I’m truly helpless, I recognize that fact, and move on. Don’t get me wrong: it doesn’t mean I won’t try to improve my situation if I see a chance. My point is that stress is a self imposed reaction.